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Dear Bukky,
I really don’t know how to tell my
man that his weight is killing the
love and admiration I have for
him? I truly don’t want to leave
him but he’s doing nothing about
his weight. I love him and he’s an
amazing guy, but I need him to put
a bit more effort when it comes to
his appearance. He’s gained at
least 45 pounds since we’ve been
together, which hasn’t been that
I do take care of myself by going
to the gym and eating right. I also
cook healthy meals for him and
have encourage him to join me in
the gym but he says he would then
don’t. I’m tired of fighting but
don’t know what to do. Please help
Dear Sola,
Thanks for your mail and I must say this is a
very common issue in relationships these
days. It’s in deed hard to tell your other half
you are not attracted to them anymore (which
I sense in your case).
The most common reaction is you’ll soon find
yourself not wanting to connect with them
intimately (which it sounds like you’re already
starting to experience), and you might even
seek fulfillment outside of the relationship.
I hate to say it, but he’s either lazy, depressed,
comfortable in the union, or thinks he’s fine
the way he is. Either way, excessive weight
gain and a lack of exercise is not healthy.
My advice is to be honest with him about how
you feel. You’ve tried to be polite with the
situation and have done things you can to help
him. It’s time to be blunt because your
relationship is at risk. He’s the one person you
should be able to talk to, so do it. Remind him
you love him and want the best for him and
you. Also communicate to him the importance
of getting healthy. Buy him a couple of items
of clothing that you’d like to see him in.
Most importantly, try to find the source for
this sudden change. Did he lose a job recently?
Has a loved one passed away? There must be a
reason for the sudden change in appearance.
Do not seek to change him, but a bit of healthy
encouragement to get him back on track can’t
hurt. After that, let it go. You’ve communicated
how you felt and why at this point. No need to
nag. Now it’s time for him to decide if he
agrees with what you’ve stated. If nothing
changes, then unfortunately you’ll have a
decision to make.
Do you want to talk about your love life,
marriage or family? Send a mail to
[email protected]
Don’t be left out, stay updated on
relationship tips and advice.
Yours truly!

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